So I told you I would be back to tell the rest of this dull tale, and here I am. Truth be told I’m going to rush through this part, mostly because it’s behind me and the need to vent is not as powerful.
So what was once a plan that I thought was universal for our entire group seemed to be completely wrong. And truth be told I had a little emotional break down at that point. I’m not entirely sure why I had been as moody as I was, but it’s a problem that keeps poking its head out lately. So Rui talked me down and we got on about our night. Brandon got to the hotel okay, and wasn’t waylaid by brigands, and we all got a chance to walk about Metrotown mall and shop for a bit. Then it was back to the room and a slackers evening of hot tubing and an in-room movie “Role Models”. Fun movie by the way, a lot more substance than I was originally expecting.
Next morning we got decked out for Taboo and we were off. I was decked out in the Pirate regalia and was ready for action. There is nothing quite like being dressed in handcrafted silks and cloths that fit you just right in all the places they should, to make you feel like the king shit. Add to it that the cloths are all the dashing swashbuckler/pirate and you have a man whose confidence is on high.
Taboo itself seemed quite tame as you first approached the arena. Just your usual convention from the outsides of the building and the crowd that could be seen loitering around. It wasn’t until I got to the front entrance that I got to see a hint at the glory that was going to be Taboo. Approaching the ticket counter was a series of pole-dancers showing their skills, then a check point to check ages, and then the tickets. I lucked out and got to use the VIP entrance since I was working the event. Once inside we were immediately overtaken by colors sounds and merch. Barely 15 feet into the event we had a display woman calling to us and showing us her masturbatory aid. The blushing my roommate did in that moment was epic. Even I wasn’t prepared for such a sudden phallic barrage. Our social cherry was popped for the day and after that nothing really could shock us as we toured through the booths. I quickly went and stopped by the Felix and Kitty booth and picked up some business cards to hand out. After that I must admit the rest of the time was a fantastic blur of images and sensations. Topless women, painted chests, dildos, clothing, dancers, exercise equipment, porn stars, tons of leather clothing (most too tight), demonstrations of sex acts, and fantastic performances of all kinds of dancers and styles. Not to mention that once I got to walking around on my own I started to get a lot more attention than I could ever really expect. I wasn’t too surprised when someone asked to have their picture taken with me; I was dressed to get people’s attention and to model the clothing. But the more people that took my picture the more it seemed to get people’s attention. The next thing I know I have groups of girls coming up to me all nervous and excited asking to have their pictures taken, I’m being groped all over the place, and I’m getting far more attention than I’m used to. I think it was right after the mother daughter picture that got taken, both of which were grabbing my ass that I came to the realization that this was way beyond anything that I could have expected. I’m pretty sure that considering the venue I was working, some of these women probably thought I was a porn star or something. But if nothing else I ended up handing out a ridiculous amount of business cards.
Personally out of all the photos taken, I had a few with a woman who had spider-man picture painted on her chest that I totally want a copy of. She was awesome and silly and I think the pictures reflect that.
Hours of excitement later we’re on route back to the hotel. Now, for those of you that know me and my roommate, we both have a tendency to go way too long without eating. Aside from being unhealthy, it also makes us incredibly grumpy. This was the case on the drive back to the hotel. So a quick escape made by Vicki Nelson and we rocket back to the hotel to get ready for game that night. We had planned on eating at the airport but once there we put it off even longer, voting to get going to the Camarilla game instead. Didn’t want to be too late after all, well at least I didn’t.
So once again we’re on the road in Vancouver and driving like mad to get to where we’re going. Luckily we actually discovered a Burger King on route and got to spot of some food. Many a life was spared because of that turn of fate. The best part of this stop though would have had to been the reactions that we got walking into this BK. Both of us are dressed basically like upper level mob bosses, dark suits, rings, grim expressions and a kill them all demeanour (we were hungry
) So when we walk through those doors the staff behind the counter flinched. One of the tellers actually looked at us and bolted for the back, leaving her partner all alone up front. Luckily the roomy noticed it too, so we played it up. Walking up to the counter with death in our eyes the entire time he doesn’t even look at her.
“Guido, what do ya want?” He asks me. I just point at the board. He stays expressionless, and orders his food. I’m pretty sure the woman was actually going to let us go without paying at one point, she just hesitated and thought about it, but the roomy pulled a $50 from his pocket and handed it to her. Never had such service at a fast food place before, it was great.
After that we were off for an exciting night of role playing and aggressive debate about pointless rules. Now me personally I’m all about the flow and fun of the situation but this entire night seemed to be once continuous agreement about rules. It was kind of depressing. But we were there with a mission in mind and I was determined to complete it. Socialize and get to know the neighbours. Yep, simple huh. Somehow it didn’t turn out that way, and due to basically being attacked from the moment our “alters” arrived at game we stopped playing nice. Which of course turned into a mass combat, the dread enemy of any role-player. But what should have been an hour of combat turned into 7 hours of pathetic arguing, lying, confusion, threats and frustration. If it hadn’t been for the loving patience of a friend of mine, Mik, I’m pretty sure I was prepared to kill a man with a chair just to get the situation to end. To say that I was annoyed was an understatement. It would take another two weeks before this scene would actually be resolved and even that took a National level storyteller to decide how it all would come to an end. It was sad.
So here we are leaving a Denny’s at 5am and having to drive back to the hotel to try and get some rest before the next day. This would have been fine, it was late and there was almost no traffic. But three things worked against us returning home.
1-Fog so thick you couldn’t see 15ft in front of you.
2- Vancouver doesn’t put signs on their streets.
3- The directions we were given were totally wrong.
So what should have been a 30 minute drive turned into an hour and a half trek around the lower mainland. Fuck you Vancouver. Sorry it needed to be said. Never the less after that sleeping turned into a forgotten possibility and we opted to just go back to the rooms rest for an hour and leave on the early morning ferry back. Anything to escape that blasted city.I’ll admit I actually got lost on the way back to the ferry, but recovered with enough time to make it on to the same sailing as my roommate and the others.
You have no idea how glad I was to get back onto the island. It took a great amount of will not to speed the entire time down the Pat Bay highway on my way home. But I made it and the week-end from hell was over, and we weren’t any worse for wear to show for it.
And that my dear internet junkies is why I didn’t blog the trade show.